By Adrienne Erin
Online Career Tips, Contributor
Engaged women everywhere know the deal: planning a wedding is fun, but can also be a major headache. One instance that typically causes stress: balancing professionalism with wedding-related giddiness and planning in the workplace.
It’s hard to know what’s acceptable and what’s not sometimes. This is particularly true when some co-workers are wanted on the guest list while others are not. Here are some wedding/workplace etiquette tips to keep you from looking like a fool… or a jerk.
Sharing the News
When you’re newly engaged your desire to gush to the first person you see is normal. Resist that urge! Be calm, courteous and, most importantly, professional.
Tell your boss first as a sign of respect. You don’t want her finding out from someone else, which may seem as if you weren’t planning on sharing the news or were purposefully trying to hide the information. Either way, delivering the news to the top, first and personally, is proper.
As far as everyone else at work goes, feel free to share the news in whatever order you’d like. Remain silent or flash your engagement ring in everyone’s face — that’s up to you. Maintain your professionalism, obviously. Stay conscientious of leaving people out, as individuals can be sensitive.
Building the Guest List
You might want to invite some but not all of your co-workers. This can become messy. Be very aware of how often you’re talking about your wedding and the details you’re providing. When talking to someone you do not plan on inviting, keep details to a minimum. You don’t want to send the wrong message or get someone’s hopes up.
Keep talk with the to-be invited private and closed off — but not rudely — from individuals who will not be invited. Definitely don’t brag about the affair or run around hollering about your recent engagement in front of individuals you don’t plan on inviting; this should be common sense.
Dealing with the “Plus One”
Under no circumstances should you extend invites without a plus one — especially if you know your co-worker is dating, engaged or married. While this may seem acceptable and cheaper in theory, it has been known to make people angry. If you can’t afford to invite everyone and their spouses/partners, consider removing them from your guest list.
The Boss: To Invite Or Not to Invite?
This is the question everyone wants to know: Is it okay to not invite your boss to your wedding? The answer: It depends. Consider the relationship you have with your boss and the environment in which you work: do you think it would be okay to not invite her? Also consider the type of person your boss is. Do you think she would be offended if left off the list?
If you and your boss get along, put her name with her plus one on the list. It’s not worth causing strife and conflict over such a minor event. Plus, she controls your salary, which I’m sure you value. If you absolutely cannot stand her and her presence would ruin your wedding, don’t invite her. Be very careful, however, that she knows you’re getting married but is left out of excited chatter around the office.
Wedding Planning During Work Hours
This should also be common sense: Do not spend copious work hours online perusing dresses, venues, cakes, etc. Weddings, as I’m sure you’re finding out, are expensive. It would be quite unfortunate and ironic to be fired and thus unable to afford your wedding simply because you couldn’t wait until you got home to shop.
Follow these tips, mostly minding common sense, and your wedding should be a fun and celebratory event and not a stressful headache that ultimately gets you fired.
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