By J. Thompson
Online Career Tips Contributor
A work spouse can be a source of confidence and an ear to complain to in the office. Perhaps you don’t realize you have an office relationship that falls under one of the “Seven Signs You Have a Work Spouse.” If you do, it’s time to extinguish the flame and cheat on your work spouse.
“An office spouse meets emotional needs, going beyond the requirements of the job,” according to Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D. in the WebMD feature, “The Office Spouse: Rules of Engagement” by Heather Hartfield.
In today’s consolidated workforce and office environment, people are expected to do more. We’re multi-skilled and often we’re performing the full-time equivalent of a few other jobs. This means that whether you’re in a leadership position or a functional role, more often than not, part of your job is to build strong relationships with work peers at different levels.
Work spouse isn’t a modern concept. In fact, “The Office Wife” by Faith Baldwin was written in 1930 and made into a Hollywood movie by the same name.
If people around the office often joke that someone is your spouse, consider it a red flag. Improper relationship innuendos aside—if your time and attention is spent nurturing one particular relationship, ask yourself one simple question; What other workplace relationships am I neglecting? Whether intended or not, you may in essence be creating a personal environment of exclusivity by focusing too much on one person. There are also potential ethical repercussions as a result of this type of relationship. Perceived favoritism, or taking a blind eye to errors on projects can negatively impact your working life.
What this boils down to is office politics. We’re all human and we’re all social. Which means there may be the possibility that your judgment is clouded on issues when you have a differing opinion, but you go along with what your work spouse wants in order to create harmony. In other scenarios, you may inadvertently draw battle lines with other people or groups that don’t share the same alliance regarding project decisions, advancement, compensation and perks. Conversely, if someone comes to you having issues with your work spouse that need to be addressed, can you truly make impartial decisions?
Just about everyone has gone through new employee orientation and stumbled across the issues of workplace dating and sexual harassment. While the work spouse concept is G-rated and wholly platonic, careers can be easily stymied by “HR issues” stemming from senior leaders who give what was perceived as overly preferential attention to a single person that was beyond the pale of mentorship. With so many marriages ending in bad divorces, the whole work spouse metaphor was never a good one to begin with.
So the sooner you break it off, the better. Just let the other person down easy—it’s you, not her or him. You get the point, heartbreaker.
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