By J. Mason
Online Career Tips Editor
In a friendship one of the best ways to make things awkward quick is to lend money. While we may be happy to do it, the longer it takes to get paid back the more distant that friend may be. The same goes for work debts. Instead of money being exchanged it’s a promise of work that’s part of the transaction. You may be doing your work friend a favor, but that could come back to hurt you later if you don’t deliver as promised.
Here’s a scenario. Bob is close friends with his work buddy Jerry. One afternoon during a typical chat over coffee Bob offers to help Jerry with reviewing some of his monthly reports. Not only does Bob promise to help but he tells Jerry he can do it by the end of the week. A few days pass and the week has come and gone. Come Monday Jerry is standing over Bob’s desk asking if he’s looked at the reports yet and is visibly peeved over the wait. Bob is unapologetic but says he can do it that week at some point. What we’re left with is two irritated co-workers with a potentially frayed relationship. The results? Mistrust, the feeling of being used (possibly), and a disjointed view of personal responsibility.
Even though those tasks belong to Jerry it’s possible that he moved onto something else because he was relying on guidance from his friend. Bob’s error in this situation was over-promising. It may seem like a great idea to help a work friend unload stressful tasks, but don’t offer if you can’t help in a realistic span of time. Your colleague might grow resentful if you repeat offend, and you turn into the co-worker who cried, “I’ll help!” Avoid creating a new persona that shows you in an irresponsible light.
If you really want to help then offer your ear. Listen to their problems and offer solutions; so long as they don’t directly rely on you. Wait for your friend to come to you for help, and be realistic when you say yes to them. Their feelings shouldn’t get hurt if you tell them from time to time that you’re slammed with work. Just give them another place to look for help if they’re asking for it. Starting now wipe your office debt clean. Make it a personal mission to limit yourself when you’re busy, and then open up “shop” when work is a little light. Being a team player is one thing, but you don’t need to be a doormat to prove you’re there for your friendly co-workers.
How did you do on last week’s bad habit, daydreaming? If you find yourself looking off into the dreamy abyss then snap out of it! Summer is the time to think about lofty vacation plans, but don’t let that interfere with what you have going on at work.
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