A major concern on every employee’s mind is not what their boss or supervisor says, but what they choose not to say. I am referring to subtle critiques of performance and behavior and personal feelings about your demeanor or attitude that bosses might decide to keep to themselves. Were they embarrassed when, in that last company-wide meeting, you accidentally stuck your foot in your mouth? Or when, in a moment of whimsy, you started chirping and stalking around the office like a giant flightless bird? Or perhaps the tone of your voice grates on their nerves like nails on a chalkboard. Or maybe they quietly hate the style in which you compose emails.
The truth is, says U.S. News and World Report contributor Alison Green, while we may sometimes see managers as superhuman—fearless in situations from which lesser beings might shy away—“managers are human, and while they should be tackling difficult or awkward topics head-on, in reality plenty shy away from it.” In fact, there are 10 things in particular, observes Green, that your boss may be choosing not to share with you (the first five of which I list below).
- “You’re talking too much in meetings.” Before speaking in meetings, I usually pause to consider the merit of what’s about to come out of my mouth. If, it seems like my comments may be addressed by the person(s) convening the meeting, or my comments lack relevance, I will often decide to table them and bring them up later in a better setting.
- “You’re spending too much time on Facebook.” For those employees that have access to social networking sites, websites like Facebook and Twitter can prove to be huge temptations during the workday. Green notes that managers “don’t want to see you logged into Facebook…when you’re supposed to be focused on work.”
- “You’re too emotional.” Overly emotional employees—those who can be brought to tears by even the most benign criticism—can be difficult for managers to deal with, says Green. Some managers “dread” giving such employees “critical feedback, to the point of avoiding it altogether.” If you want your boss to provide candid feedback on your work, suggests Green, it is important that you learn to reel in your emotions.
- “You dress inappropriately.” While most managers may not have any qualms with telling their employees that they need to step up their dressing game, Green points out that male supervisors may have difficulty criticizing the dressing habits or wardrobe of female employees.
- “Your attitude sucks.” A perpetually negative attitude, a “high-maintenance” attitude, or an inability to “take ownership for your work” could land you on your boss’ black list, says Green, and could, ultimately, affect your job security.
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